The Chronicles of Dreadward
by TheDeadThing
Summary: Dreadward gets vengeance, glory, fortune and a freakin' plasma hand.
1. The Scouring of Rigel VII

Dreadward roared, tearing out a cyborg's heart. He looked at Jacob, who was in his ten-thousand handed divine form, as he messily devoured it. The ancient hekatonkheire stared back, his sixty faces burning with holy power. "Remember that we are blood-brothers. We shall stand together until the end of the universe approaches us!" Jacob said. Dreadward nodded, and tore out the spine of another cyborg. Dreadward's skin absorbed the blood, granting him the cyborg's power. Not that he needed it. More cyborgs emerged from their underground laboratories, and leaped out at Dreadward. Before they could get a hit in, Jacob disintegrated them with his laser vision.

A burning sky heralded the coming of the Fuckreapers. Dreadward unveiled his true form, turning the cyborg army around him into ash, and driving the few survivors mad. "I am the Dread Ward. I am the Culling. Behold, for I crush the world in my right hand and give birth to it anew in my left." The Fuckreapers were not intimidated by this boast, and their Fuckscythes cut Dreadward apart. Dreadward pulled himself together, his blood falling on the landscape and birthing monsters where it landed. He punched a Fuckreaper into the sun, blowing it the fuck up. Then he conjured a new sun, and threw it through the Fuckreapers. It crashed into the corpse of the old sun and fused with it, forming a new star that will shine for at least sixteen billion more years.

Meanwhile, the hands of Jacob each grabbed one of the discarded Fuckscythes, and cut open holes in the universe. Armies of Yazata came forward, engaging the Fuckreapers in war. The immense war tore the planet apart, killing all life on it. The dead came back as wraiths, and would haunt the world for aeons to come. Jacob and Dreadward transformed back into their mortal avatars. They looked upon the phantom-haunted wasteland, and summoned their starship, Cathedral Oblivion, to pick them up. Chaos was fucked.


	2. Blade Person and the Doom Elves

Dreadward opened up the vid-link to Empress Swan. She was naked, clothed only in an aura of impossible colours. A fuligin rainbow gave way to blorange light, which in turn cast a celestewhite shadow. Dreadmund reported "The forces of Chaos have been purged from Rigel VII.". The Empress's spectral aura changed to a more argent tint to express her pleasure. "Excellent. Soon, all of the universe will follow the forces of Order. For now, continue the conquest of the Sector." She dismissed the vid-link, and called forth her harem of celestial nymphs for some celebration.

Jacob appeared before Dreadward, wearing his full ceremonial dragon armour. The armour wasn't designed to resemble a dragon, but in fact was made out of one, who transformed himself into a brigadine of bloodshed to better armour the champions of Order. "Brother, enemy forces sighted nearby. Prepare for battle stations." Dreadward nodded, and morphed his cloak of shadows into monstrous spider wings. The duo jumped out of an airlock, landing on a Doomship and tearing it to smithereens. They threw the pieces at more Doomships, but the ships shot the debris down with their positron cannons, and deployed Doom Elf space marines in retaliation.

Angered, Dreadward impaled eight Doom Elf skulls on his wing-claws (one for each wing-claw), and exhaled a ray of light that split the rest of the Doom Elf squadron apart at the subatomic level. He jumped up to a doomship, and encountered its captain, a demon made out of thousands of swords. Dreadward responded by turning his hand into a mace, and smashed the swordman into his component blades. The swordman reformed, and cut off Dreadward's macehand with his claymore-thigh. Dreadward replaced his hand with one made out of plasma, and punched the swordman through his Doomship. The swordman, knowing he was outmatched, assimilated all of the swords in the Doomship, becoming a gigantic sharptitan. The sharptitan attempted to devour Dreadward, but he wreathed himself in an aura of fire so great it melted all of the swords within the bladed behemoth.

Dreadward stood over the molten remains of his opponent. He wondered if he'd look good wearing something fuligin.


	3. The High-Five That Shook the Heavens

While Dreadward was fighting the swordman, Jacob was busy destroying lesser Doomships. As the battle grew more intense, he began to shed his mortal guise, growing more arms and faces. Each arm represented one of his divine powers, and each of his faces represented one of the aspects of divinity. He did not bother dodging the blasts of the Doomfleets' positron cannons: they were too weak to penetrate his dragon armour. He flung miniature galaxies at them, the burning energy of millions of microscopic stars tearing the Doomfleet apart.

After reaching five thousand arms, Jacob decided to see what Dreadward was doing. He encountered him slapping a Doom Elven general into another dimension. Jacob asked him "Any new strategic information?". Dreadward replied "Bitch, I just got a plasma hand." Jacob high-fived his plasma hand with his 1253rd arm, which represented the divine power of Communion with Rocks. The force of this high-five was felt throughout time and space, and for a single moment all living things felt overwhelming awe. Especially the rocks.

Out of the Nth Dimension emerged the immense Mother Doomship. It was the size of Jupiter, and made out of the remains of several annihilated planets. Dreadward kicked a hole into it, and meat a legion of sexy space succubi. Ignoring their temptations, he began karate-chopping them in half with his plasma hand. In the middle of the battle, one of them tore a hole in his shirt. His dazzling abs were so impressive, they immediately surrendered and begged to join him. Dreadward ignored them, annoyed by how his well-toned body attracted so much unwanted attention. Jacob wondered why he didn't get any babes.

Dreadward and Jacob fought their way through countless hordes of cyborg Doom Elf crewmen, until they reached the central chamber of the Mother Doomship. Sitting in the shadows was a man in a throne. He wasn't facing them, but the throne was designed so it could dramatically turn around. Revealing himself He said, "So, you have defeated my army. I'm impressed." Dreadward laughed. "The problem with being a force dedicated to chaos is that you find coordinated battle plans too orderly. That, and your minions betray you as soon as they see someone they want to fuck. Defeating your forces isn't impressive. It's easy." The figure growled. "Chaos will win in the end. All things will fall to entropy in time. Including you." His throne rotated, revealing the man. It was... Jasper!


	4. The Melody of Dirgemaker

Jasper stood up from his throne. Jacob grimaced. "Jasper. You traitor!" Jasper laughed. "And what was I to do? The Empire is a force that seeks to conquer everything in existence. Chaos promises freedom, at the very least." Jasper took out his organ, Dirgemaker, and started playing. With every key pressed, a different weapon built into it fired. Dreadward dodged its nuclear blasts, but Jasper wasn't so lucky, Dirgemaker's superiority ray knocking him into a wall. "Freedom? You just pillage and destroy!" Dreadward yelled. Jasper chuckled evilly. "Freedom from all laws, not just yours. A code of morality is merely a law you use to enslave yourself!"

Jasper pressed the A1 key on Dirgemaker, firing a powerful stun ray. Dreadward was hit, and found himself paralysed. With his immense strength he could move, but barely. Jasper began to play more attacks, but Jacob jumped up at him and punched the organ in half. In response, Jasper shed his mortal form to reveal his divine self, which took the form of nine burning wheels, somehow contained in each other despite being the same size. He spoke a thousand threats and boasts in a divine language that drove mortals to madness.

Dreadward and Jacob decided to combine their powers. Jacob had reached his full 10,000 arms, and each of them shot out a ray of transphysical light. Dreadward caught the light in his plasma-hand, focusing it into a beam of pure energy. In response, Jasper reassembled Dirgemaker, and infused it with his divine power. He pressed all of the keys at once, firing a bolt that was a combination of sixty-one different superweapons. The two attacks collided, annihilating the Mother Doomship. Dirgemaker could not handle the intense power, and shattered into a million pieces. Jasper was hit by the beam, which annihilated him in an instant. The rest of the beam annihilated the entire Doomfleet, creating a beautiful spectacle of a thousand explosions.

Jacob and Dreadward floated in the void of space. Dreadward asked Jacob "Do you think I could pull off a fuligin shirt?". Jacob shrugged.


	5. The Death and Return of Forks' 3rd Moon

Empress Swan descended to the city-planet of Forks. She normally spent her time in her orbital moon-palace, but she had a summer home on the planet's surface. As she arrived, servants came to tend to her. But these were not servants. They were cyberliches, immortal robot necromancers, in disguise! They dispelled their illusion, and attacked. The Empress dodged their deathbolts, and tore them in half with her mind. She threw the halves to the opposite ends of the universe, so that the two parts may never reunite and come back to life.

Just then, a team of elite hell commandos burst out from the basement. They fired upon her with machine guns that shot nuclear missiles, but she deflected them into the sun. She gripped a hell commando by the throat, and squeezed so hard that she crushed it into a black hole. The other hell commandos, out of ammunition, lunged at her with their deathknives. She easily dodged, grabbed a commando, and threw him so hard into the ground that he broke through the crust of the earth and fell into the core. She then tore off the arm of a commando and beat the other two to death with it. When the final one died, she realised her house was completely destroyed in the fighting. She decided to return to her moon-palace and cancel her vacation.

As she walked away, she suddenly felt a sharp pain. A deathknife was in her back. She pulled it out and tossed it away, and turned to see the hell commando whose arm she tore off, who had faked his death via blood loss. Smouldering with rage, she grabbed him, and threw him at such velocities that it exceeded the speed of light. The time distortion this caused resulted in him going back into the past, where he crashed into one of Forks' three moons and destroyed it. As the present changed to accommodate for the time-travel, the Empress rebuilt the moon from the debris with her bare hands.

A scurrying infiltrator scavenged through the ruins of the Empress's summer home. Trawling through the rubble, he discovered a discarded deathknife, covered in blood. He talked into his radio; "DNA sample obtained. Initiate project R.E.N.E.S.M.E.E."


	6. Lightraper Unleashed

The great armies of Yazatas gathered before Dreadward. The ancient Zoroastrian demigods had just finished conquering the world of Voltar IX, purging it of chaotic taint. "Brothers, today we are victorious! The forces of Chaos, which we have battled since before the beginning of time, in the achronal Protoverse, are on their knees! Soon all things will bow before Order and the Empress! Soon, the entire omniverse will be ours!" A messenger ran onto the stage. "My lord, there's an important message for you! Voltar IX has been destroyed!" Dreadward sighed. "Just as I was getting into a good mood. Great. I was planning a party for you guys if you succeeded in your task. Now I have to cancel it." The Yazatas emitted a flood of disappointed sighs.

Dreadward equipped his custom fuligin diamond armor (it looked quite fetching on him), and embarked to the broken ruins of Voltar IX. He smoldered with immense fury. He had already ordered the cakes and pizzas for the celebration, and now they would go to waste because some bastard decided to invalidate his legion's success. The world was being scavenged by gargantuan planet vultures, but the continent-sized space birds flew away when they sensed the immense power being emitted by Dreadward. The pickings of a planet corpse would not be worth tempting his wrath.

Dreadward wandered the broken husk of the planet, when suddenly the sky turned burning red, a sign of incredibly powerful chaotic energy. Normally this was caused by the hordes of Fuckreapers, but it appeared to be emanating from a single person. This person appeared to be a very beautiful woman, yet Dreadward felt immense hatred coming from her. It must have been her that destroyed this planet. Dreadward anger grew, manifesting as a blazing aura so hot that it turned the ground beneath him into magma.

He ran up to her, performing a mighty punch with his plasma hand, but she quickly managed to dodge. The mysterious woman then kicked Dreadward so hard that he flew into space. Dreadward landed on Voltar VIII, crashing through a Fate Elven cathedral. The proud and noble Fate Elves gazed in horror as the sky turned red and the woman fell through the atmosphere, burning up on re-entry. She landed on a street, the weight of her impact creating a massive crater in the city. The Fate Elven Everguard attacked with their hyperlances, but the woman spewed out a swath of black fire that disintegrated them.

Dreadward, knowing the danger he was in, unsheathed his greatsword, Lightraper. It was crafted from the titanium bones of the great Titans in the core of Hephaestus's sun-forge. The handle was wrapped in leather made from the skin of a dead god, and the crossguard was studded with gemstones in every color of the rainbow, especially the ones mere humans cannot see. Dreadward rarely withdrew the blade, for it hungered for mortal souls to such an extent that if it was set loose, it would seek to devour all life in the current solar system. But this foe proved far more dangerous than a released Lightraper, and he didn't have Jacob to back him up. As he withdrew the claymore, the earth itself began to tremble. Shit just got real.


	7. Project RENESMEE

Dreadward swung Lightraper. The colossal blade was so sharp, it cut the air molecules themselves in half, creating miniature nuclear explosions. The woman jumped out of the way of the sword. Dreadward ran forward, and with all his strength swung upwards. The woman's skin was hard enough to resist being cut, but the sheer force of the blow and the explosions knocked her to Voltar IV. Dreadward leapt up to the planet, and cut it in half. His enemy picked up one of the halves and threw it at him, but Dreadward deflected it into the sun with a flick of his hand.

Dreadward descended down to the remaining half of Voltar IV."As you die, know that Dreadward the Culling was the one who slayed you!" The woman laughed evilly. "Dreadward? I'll make you Deadward!" Dreadward was taken aback by this horrible pun, before realizing that his name wasn't any worse. "I am the Revengancing Experimentally New Eugenically Supersoldier Mechanically Enhanced Entity!" Dreadward paused in shock. "That... Is the stupidest name for a secret supersoldier project I have ever heard. This is coming from a guy named Dreadward." R.E.N.E.S.M.E.E, enraged bv this insult, began spewing out bolts of dark energy from all of her orifices. Dreadward parried them with the Lightraper.

Dreadward leapt to the moon of Voltar IV, and kicked it into the planet below. It crushed R.E.N.E.S.M.E.E, but she broke out of the moonrubble, which measured in the quintillions of tons. R.E.N.E.S.M.E.E flew towards Dreadward, but he grabbed her and threw her into the next solar system. Dreadward flew at a hundred times the speed of light, to discover R.E.N.E.S.M.E.E digging herself out of the bloated and aged red sun. Dreadward, knowing that the star was nearly dead, cut open a hole in time with Lightraper, artificially aging it until it became a black hole. He then jumped down, impaled R.E.N.E.S.M.E.E, and forced her into the black hole's event horizon.

In the singularity at the center of the black hole, R.E.N.E.S.M.E.E pulled Lightraper out of her chest. "I was made from the genes of your Empress! I share her immortality! Nothing you can do can kill me! Nothing!" Dreadward picked Lightraper back up and sheathed it. "I can't kill you, but I can imprison you." He walked away from her. She attempted to follow, but couldn't muster the strength. She only took a few steps forward before collapsing. "Unlike you, I'm strong enough to resist the gravitational pull of a black hole. And I estimate this one will last for around 12 sextillion years." Dreadward burst out of the black hole, leaving R.E.N.E.S.M.E.E alone to suffer her grim fate.

Dreadward returned to Cathedral Oblivion, exhausted from his battle and escape. He walked into the central gathering chamber, yelled "THE PARTY'S ON!" and immediately collapsed into unconsciousness as the Yazata cheered.


	8. Battle Over the Forbidden Sector

When Dreadward woke up, the party was over. Although disappointed that he missed it, his attention was quickly diverted to the vidlink. Through it, Empress Bella Swan gazed at him impatiently. "My Empress, I'm sorry I couldn't answer you sooner. I was really tired from escaping the gravitational pull of a black hole after imprisoning a clone of you there." She sighed. "Just my luck that you had to be unconscious when I had extremely important news for you. We have found an extremely massive Chaos force building up in the Forbidden Sector." Dreadward peaked up. "The Forbidden Sector?" "Yes. It's a sector. Unlike most, it's Forbidden, because it's the biggest hub of pirates, criminals, and insurgents in the galactic cluster." Dreadward sighed. "So, all the followers of Chaos are gathering there, presumably because only the scum who live there would want to associate with them, and are forming a big fucking army to destroy us all". Swan nodded. "Yes, pretty much. You and Jacob shall lead the attack. Let's stop them before they get a chance to strike against us."

Cathedral Oblivion set its course to the Forbidden Sector. Dreadward and Jacob sat together, waiting for their arrival. "Y'know, I'll be glad when this is all over. I have fought my entire life. I'm tired of it, now.", Jacob said. Dreadward nodded. "At first it was really fucking awesome to tear a Doom Elf into pieces and kill the rest of his squad by throwing those pieces at them at extreme velocities, but I'm getting bored. It's been millions of years, and I'm running out of creative ways to kill bastards." Jacob sighed. "I'm pretty sure this is it. The forces are believed to number in the quadrillions. I'm pretty sure most of the followers of Chaos are gathered there. Anything afterwards will just be mop-up." The voice of a Yazata crewman came up on the intercom. "We have arrived, sir. Time to show them what we are made of."

The immense starfleet was large enough to blot out all sight. It was impossible to count the sheer number of ships, which managed to barely fit into the sector. Dreadward and Jacob gathered, nodded at eachother, and jumped. Dreadward punched through dozens of ships as Jacob destroyed more with his laser vision. Countless amounts of missiles and energy beams fired at them, and the two commanders found themselves barely able to dodge them. Millions of ships from the Empire arrived as reinforcements every second, but even they couldn't handle the immense numbers of ships.

Dreadward broke through hundreds of thousands of ships, to discover a colossal starship above all others. It measured one astronomical unit (that's 149,597,871 kilometres, kids) in length, and was armed with enough cannons to kill all life in the galaxy. The flagship alone could devastate the Empire. Dreadward told Jacob "You deal with the other ships. I'll take the big one." Dreadward descended down into the flagship, tearing a hole in it. Countless Helltroops and Fuckreapers were inside. Dreadward withdrew Lightraper, and cut his way through the sea of monsters. Meanwhile, Jacob tore his way through countless ships, utilizing all of his ten thousand fists. One of the greatest battles in history began, to be remembered for aeons to come.


	9. The Great Volturi

Dreadward waded through the flood of corpses. Lightraper laughed sinisterly at the carnage, and eagerly devoured the thousands of souls it had killed. Dreadward could barely handle the horde of foes he faced. He slashed through a dozen hell commandos, while breathing fire onto a regiment of Doom Elves. For every enemy he killed, ten more emerged. Not helping were the attendant cyberliches, who were resurrecting as many corpses as they could. Dreadward broke the floor beneath him, landing in a lower level, but only encountered more enemies. He broke open a hole into space, intending to kill them with the depressurization, but the sheer amount of corpses managed to plug the hole up.

Meanwhile, Jacob was tearing his way through countless spaceships. Thousands of Yazata were deployed, yet they were barely able to make a difference. The sheer amount of ships firing meant that Chaos ships often accidentally hit each other, but the friendly fire still wasn't enough to make a sizable dent within the fleet. Jacob began throwing planets at the enemy forces. All life on the planets were destroyed by this, but they were criminal planets, ruled by the intergalactic mafia and space pirates, so nobody really cared what happened to them.

Dreadward managed to fight his way into an immense central chamber. In the center was a colossal being with three faces. It spoke in a booming and deep voice, which shook the entire flagship."DREADWARD. WE HAVE BEEN EXPECTING YOU." Dreadward swung at the beast with Lightraper, but it bounced off its skin. "WE ARE THE GREAT VOLTURI, THE LORDS OF CHAOS." Dreadward swung again, but the Volturi parried it with a single finger. "WE ARE THE EMBODIMENTS OF CHAOS ITSELF. YOU CANNOT WIN AGAINST US. ALL THINGS WILL FALL IN TIME." It fired thousands of bolts at Dreadward. Dreadward attempted to dodge, but the bolts homed in on him and knocked him down. "I... I will never fall! I am unstoppable!' The Volturi laughed. "ONLY WE ARE INVINCIBLE. DISCARD THE SHACKLES OF ORDER, OR YOU SHALL LEARN THE MEANING OF PAIN."

Jacob, running out of planets, began picking up larger ships and using them as makeshift bludgeons. The tide was finally turning, and the number of enemy spaceships reached a point where they didn't obscure all sight. However, the Empire's forces were thinning out as well. Jacob jumped down to the flagship, taking hold of its cannons. He physically dragged them to aim at enemy ships. However, he was interrupted as Dreadward bursted out of the ship, being flung with extreme force. The Volturi emerged from the hole left behind. "AH, JACOB. GOOD, NOW I CAN DESTROY BOTH OF ORDER'S GREATEST CHAMPIONS AT ONCE."


	10. The Sacrifice

The Volturi fired hundreds of thousands of beams, which Dreadward and Jacob barely managed dodged. Jacob attempted to punch the Volturi, but it had no effect. The Volturi responded by tearing off one of Jacob's sixty faces. Angered, Dreadward struck at the Volturi. The Volturi merely sat still, as hundreds of rapid strikes failed to harm it. When Dreadward paused, the Volturi punched him, knocking him into Cathedral Oblivion. The Volturi then stepped on Jacob's chest, pinning him to the ground. Jacob struggled, but it was all for naught. The Volturi laughed as he tore off Jacob's many arms, which futilely attempted to knock him off his body.

Dreadward flew down back towards the flagship, swinging his blade with immense amounts of force. It landed on the Volturi's central face, and knocked him through his ship. Dreadward descended through the hole. The Volturi picked himself up and touched a small scar on his forehead. He looked at the blood on his hand. "CONGRATULATIONS. YOU ARE THE FIRST BEING TO DRAW OUR BLOOD." With immense speed, the Volturi suddenly appeared behind Dreadward. "WE ARE ARO-CAIUS-MARCUS. TOGETHER WE ARE THE VOLTURI!" The Volturi punched Dreadward through the halls of his flagship. "TOGETHER, WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE. YOU CANNOT DEFEAT US." Dreadward stood up. "I am Dreadward. I am conquest manifest. I will never lose to you. Ever." The Volturi laughed. "SO, YOU STILL PERSIST. VERY WELL."

The Volturi forced his fist into Dreadward's head, piercing right through it. He pulled his hand back. Dreadward's face was rendered into a chunky mess, and began to reform. "I WILL BREAK YOUR BODY. TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB. AND WHEN YOU HEAL, I'LL DO IT AGAIN." Dreadward dodged the fist of the Volturi, and kneed him in the groin with superhuman strength. The Volturi was stunned with pain, and Dreadward knocked him through a wall. "YOU... VERY WELL. I SHALL KILL YOU QUICKLY IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WISH." The Volturi began gathering immense amounts of power, charging up for a powerful attack. "OBLIVION AWAITS ALL THINGS, DREADWARD. IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU SEE IT."

Jacob got up. Although mutilated by the Volturi, his divine physiology allowed him to survive. He felt immense amounts of power coming from beneath him. Jumping down, he ran through the corridors of the flagship. He encountered the Volturi, who, had knocked Dreadward into the floor. "BEHOLD THE TRUE POWER OF CHAOS!" The Volturi was glowing brightly, having gathered up so much power that the nearby area was disintegrating. The Volturi laughed maniacally, and fired an immense blast of energy at Dreadward. " NOW DIE!"

Jacob leaped in front of the blast. All that remained of him was ash.


	11. The Final Battle

Dreadward gazed at the disintegrated remains of his greatest friend. The Volturi broke down laughing. "HAHAHAHA! WE'D BE ANGRY, BUT WE CAN JUST FEEL THE ANGUISH COMING OFF YOU! THE TORMENT YOU MUST FEEL IS EXQUISITE! HAHAHAHA!" Dreadward starting burning up with the greatest rage he had ever felt. "ARE YOU GOING TO CRY, YOU PATHETIC WEAKLING? CRY AT HIS LOSS?" Dreadward swung Lightraper with such force as to knock the Volturi through ten thousand decks of the spaceship. "I'll avenge him, you bastard! Him and EVERY MAN THAT CHAOS HAS KILLED!" The Volturi picked himself up. "SUCH ANGER IMPRESSES US! SHOW US YOUR FURY, DREADWARD!"

The Volturi began conjuring miniature black holes, throwing them at Dreadward. Dreadward ignored their gravitational pull, and slapped the Volturi through a wall with his plasma hand. The Volturi got up on its feet, and began firing hundreds of homing bolts. Dreadward dodged them, jumped behind the Volturi, grabbed him, and blocked the bolts with his body. He then threw the Volturi down a corridor, where he crashed through a squad of Doom Elves. The Doom Elves, realizing that what was happening was out of their element, retreated. The Volturi, in anger, slew them with bolts of lightning.

The Volturi tore open a hole into the central power reactor of the flagship, which contained several captured stars that were used for power. He picked up a star, and threw it at Dreadward, who was engulfed with it. To the Volturi's consternation, he burst out of the star with minimal harm. "I'M GETTING TIRED OF YOUR STUBBORN REFUSAL TO DIE." Dreadward kicked a star at the Volturi, who in turn destroyed it with a single punch. "So am I, Volturi!" Dreadward kicked the Volturi into a star, which exploded, destroying the flagship. The Volturi and Dreadward gazed at each other, floating in the void.

Dreadward channeled his hatred through Lightraper. His immense hatred sharpened the already extremely sharp blade to an impossible extent. "It's time to finish this once and for all!" He ran up and leaped at the Volturi, and cut him in half with a single diagonal blow. The Volturi gasped out its last words. "IM...IMPOSSIBLE! NOTHING... CAN... DEFEAT ME! NOTHING!" Dreadward sheathed his blade. "Nothing is impossible." The Volturi died. erupting into an immense explosion which wiped out the entire Forbidden Sector. The entire chaos fleet was disintegrated in the blast.

The Cathedral Oblivion, damaged by the explosion, drifted through the void of space. The surviving Yazata gathered there, arguing over the battle. "But he cannot be alive. Nothing could survive being at the epicenter of that explosion!" said one. "If anyone could survive, it'll be Dreadward or Jacob." replied another. "But Dreadward, he..." "But I what?" The Yazata all turned towards the voice. It was Dreadward! He was covered in burns and scars, and his fuligin armor was cracked and broken. "Dreadward! But... Where is Jacob?" Dreadward sighed. "He... didn't make it. I'm sorry. He died saving me." The Yazata gathered to mourn. "Now, let's fix the engines and set a course for Forks. It's time to go home."


	12. Epilogue

After the destruction of the Great Volturi, the forces of Chaos fell apart and the Empire conquered the entire omniverse. A golden age began, where all sapient life unified to create a utopic civilization. It took many years of hard work, social reform, and vigorous debate, but they managed to create something that satisfied everyone at least somewhat.

Dreadward ended up marrying Bella and became the Emperor of all things. They had a child together, called Jacob Jr., and he is set to be the heir of the Empire in the nigh-impossible case that his parents die.

The Yazata legion commanded by Dreadward and Jacob became renowned heroes. They converted the Cathedral Oblivion into a travelling space museum, dedicated to the history of the war between the Empire and Chaos. Billions visit it each year.

The Doom Elves, after the fall of Chaos, were forced to rejoin the Fate Elven civilization, which they were exiled from millions of years ago. Though there was much racial tension at first, the Doom Elves and Fate Elves learned to accept each other and find peace.

The space succubi, who abandoned Chaos due to their love for Dreadward, formed a successful law firm. Sadly, their professional obligations meant they had little time or desire for sex and relationships, frustrating those men (and a surprising amount of women) who were tempted by their beauty.

Lightraper, its hunger for souls finally satiated by the battle in the Forbidden Sector, was set free by Dreadward. It became the central part of a demon made out of swords, like the ones that once ruled the Doom Elves. This swordman became a master blacksmith, and eventually settled down and married a woman made of pistols.

R.E.N.E.S.M.E.E, during her lengthy imprisonment inside a black hole, came to realize that a life of evil was fruitless and she should dedicate herself to good deeds. When the black hole decayed and she was set free, she became a renowned philanthropist. Rumors exist of a tryst between her and the Empress. Dreadward, upon learning of the allegations, is quoted as saying "I'm pretty sure everyone would like to fuck their own clone. I know I would."

The author, having finished his stupid story, moved on to greater pursuits. He was a little disappointed at how he couldn't come up with a better ending, but oh well. He hopes that you enjoyed reading his work, and that you'll share it with others, make it become a renowned internet sensation, and get him nominated for a Nobel Prize for Literature. This is unlikely, but a man can dream, can't he?


End file.
